IN-DEPTH Dream Interpretation by Email

Overall Interpretation

Your dream is conveying a message from your subconscious regarding the desire for more interaction with old and trusted friends and loved ones. In your dream, your hometown represents your life at the time of your dream, and the events in the dream (weddings, marching bands, etc.) represent the events of your current life and the passage of time. The interaction with your ex-girlfriend as the main theme of the dream represents a desire for that comfort and good feeling of spending time with familiar, comfortable people who know you and love you. Some part of you misses spending time with people like that, or would like to have that kind of interaction more often.

Dream Type

This is a Clarification Dream, the purpose of which is to clarify and provide insight into a particular situation in your life. In this case, the dream is clarifying your current feelings about a past relationship and revisiting emotional memories and how they reflect on your current life. (For more about Clarification Dreams, including samples, click here.)

Detailed Analysis

In your dream, your subconscious is portraying the positive feelings it remembers that you had when you were with your ex-girlfriend, feelings about her that are stored as an emotional memory. More specifically, if you had a feeling at some point in your relationship with her that you might end up being together long-term - possibly getting married - your subconscious may also be remembering this feeling. In any case, this dream was likely triggered by relationship-centered events and the happy long-term relationships you have been witnessing in your life recently, as well as the upcoming wedding of your close friend and the feeling that life is passing by and you feel as if you need to do more to find what you want in life.

This dream is a reminiscing about good feelings you had in the past when you were close to someone - the comfort and security of having a loved one around, someone to talk with and spend time with. These feelings are embodied in your dream as your ex-girlfriend, but the dream isn't specifically about her. Instead, it's about what she represents to you subconsciously: a relationship, someone to be close to, someone who makes you happy and content, someone to count on, etc.

In your dream, walking by churches (but not going in), watching marching bands (but not being in them), and seeing weddings happen (but not being involved in them) represent a sense that you are watching life go by more than being an active participant in life, at least the way you would like to be ideally. This may also reflect feelings of being left out or left behind, either by your choice or not.

The fact that the dream occurs in your hometown indicates that this dream is set against a backdrop of your life (your hometown represents your life), and the action in your dream portrays a current emotional scenario in your life.

The fact that this is a recurring dream indicates that the feelings portrayed in the dream - the sense of missing out on a close, safe, secure relationship - persists across time. Most likely, this dream occurs after something in your life has reminded you of what you feel that you're missing.

Resolving Issues from Your Dream

Your subconscious is sending you a message through this dream. There is a part of you that feels possibly unfulfilled, possibly restless, possibly discontented - like something is missing or the feeling that "there must be more to life than this." I suggest taking steps to explore your feelings and take appropriate actions to enhance your life in ways that will work better for you. Consider the following exercises:

1. Do some free-form writing. The purpose of this exercise is to explore your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs and give them a space to be seen and heard. Sit down with pen and paper and just start writing. Think about your friend getting married and just start writing everything that comes to mind. If nothing comes to mind, write "nothing is coming to mind" and keep writing. If you get stuck for a long time with nothing to write, you can ask yourself questions to get going again (try "if I had something to say, it would be ..." or "If I knew how I was feeling right now, I would explain it like this..." Don't worry if it's readable or if the spelling is correct, because no one will ever read this, including you. Write at least 3 pages. Keep writing until you have a definite feeling that there is nothing left to be said - usually at least 20 minutes. You can repeat this exercise every day (morning is best) or as often as you like. It should help you clear out the "cobwebs," feel better, and think more clearly. When you are finished, tear up or burn the paper to let your subconscious know you are releasing everything you wrote. Do not go back an re-read any part of what you wrote.

2. Create a Relationship Ideal Vision. Write a description (several paragraphs) of your ideal romantic relationship the way you envision it, regardless of who the partner might be. Project yourself into the future when you are actually experiencing this ideal relationship, then describe in detail how this relationship feels to you as you experience it. For example, "When I'm with my partner, I feel supported and appreciated for who I am. We both feel so comfortable sharing with each other whatever we are feeling or thinking in the moment. I always feel so uplifted and happy when we spend time together. We enjoy doing a lot of the same things, sharing time together in both active and relaxing situations. We live harmoniously together, easily managing household and financial situations." If you have trouble getting started or need ideas, try this exercise first: Write a list of the positive aspects you have enjoyed in relationships with your family, friends, and past partners. For example, if you enjoy the laughs you have with your brother, the supportive interactions you have with your sister, the creative interactions you've had with a past partner, the witty banter you used to have with a favorite teacher - write those on your list. Then use your list as a starting point when you write your Ideal Vision.

3. Explore your Soul Purpose and your passions. Usually, where your passions and energy lie, your Soul Purpose is closely related. One way to connect with Soul Purpose is to make a list of the pursuits that bring you joy and/or fulfillment, or that have in the past. They might be general like "helping people" or more specific like "writing software programs that help improve people's lives." And remember that you may have more than one great passion, and that you can probably fulfill your Soul Purpose in more than one way. (For example, my Soul Purpose is as a "visionary leader and healer," and I am currently fulfilling that as a dream interpreter, personal coach, and author.)

4. Create a Life Ideal Vision. Write a description (several paragraphs) of your ideal life the way you envision it, describing in detail how it would feel to you as you experience it. For example, "I wake up around 8am feeling well-rested and energized. I have a healthy, tasty breakfast and enjoy doing a fun type of exercise. Feeling energized, I walk into my home office anticipating the rewarding work I do delivering useful products/services to people as part of owning my own business. Everyday, I enjoy interact with supportive, caring friends and clients."